A heaping pile of Clapper

We all know that Director of National Intelligence James Clapper delivered his “least untruthful statement” when he lied to the US Senate about whether our blessed government spies on its own people. Well, now we have Clapper’s MOST untruthful statement, to wit:

“These documents released today [in response to friggin’ lawsuits!] are a testament to the government’s strong commitment to detecting, correcting, and reporting mistakes that occur in implementing technologically complex intelligence collection activities.”

I know Jimmy-boy is not the only government E. coli bacterium responsible for sickening 300 million Americans, but he is a pretty damn good personification of the poison that has infected our government. So the following isn’t just for you, Jim-Bob. It’s also for all the other NSA basement dwellers cyber-snooping through their ex-girlfriend’s e-mail and phone calls. (Pardon my French, folks, but …) Fuck you and anyone who looks like you.

Clap-off, you sanctimonious, right-out-of-central-casting prick.

(Apologies for the language, but as I waited the requisite 24 minutes before hitting send, the language just got saltier. So I figured I launch this before I really got upset.)

Welcome, Tunisia!

Hey, thanks for coming by, Tunisia. Really great to see you. You are officially the 73rd country to visit our humble abode.

Don't know if you stumbled upon this post yet, but we actually ran a piece some time back that featured your fearless, freedom-seeking people.

Listen, while you're here, you think we could chat for a second ... privately?

*Yeah, guys, we'll be right back. Just wanna show Tuni my motorcycle. He hasn't seen it yet.*

So, Tuni, what's with the jailing the rappers. I understand the rage. I really do. Some of that music is actually painful to listen to. And the lyrics? Forget about it! But in a free society--which you guys were sooo close to achieving--you gotta let people express themselves freely. Even the rappers.

So we're cool? Great. Come on inside and check out this amazing fresh-fruit platter I got from a vendor this morning.

New Era vs Old Errors -- What giant corporations can learn from "those darn activists"

"Seriously. Do NOT
make me got off this bike."

If David keeps kicking Goliath’s butt—which seems inevitable these days—we’re going to have to retire the idiom. 

The latest giant-slaying is going on right now between the New Era Colorado Foundation (David) and Old Errors Xcel Energy Corporation (the at-bat Goliath). 

New Era wants Boulder to wrest control of the power grid from Xcel because they believe that the city can provide cleaner energy for less money. As you can imagine, Xcel—which stands to lose $35 million in profit that the good folks in Boulder shell out annually—disagrees. 

In a fascinating video clip that rivals Kony 2012 in its rousing help-us-save-the-planet climax and (some might argue) creative presentation of the facts, New Era boasts: 

“Back in 2011, our community did something no other community had ever done before: we voted to explore taking control of our power supply for the sole purpose of lowering our impact on the planet. … If we win, we trigger a national model that can be replicated across the country.” 

Upworthy posted the video last week and urged people to share it. Huff Post picked up the story and—to no one’s surprise—the video went viral. Big time. (You can track the real-time financial score board here.)

It’s not shocking that a bunch of energetic kids with honorable intentions and decent video production skills could end up in the eye of a media storm, especially with the help of Upworthy, which is considered the Punkin Chunkin catapult of viral-video launches. 

But it is nothing short of genius that they were able to get such a response through creative positioning.

Consider the claim, “Back in 2011, our community did something no other community had ever done before: we voted to explore taking control of our power supply for the sole purpose of lowering our impact on the planet.”  

Taken at their word, you might think that Boulder is on the verge of becoming the first municipality ever to commandeer the power grid from an evil for-profit corporation. They’re not even close. Seventeen cities have made the switch in the last decade, including Winter Park, FL, which took over its power utility in 2005.

But they would be the first to do so “for the sole purpose of lowering our impact on the planet,” a caveat which—and this is pure gold, Jerry—enhances their case rather than diminish it, as caveats often do.

You might even believe, as the video states: 

“Boulder is on the verge of setting an important precedent that has national significance and could threaten not just Xcel Energy but the very core of the business model—and the billions of dollars in profit that come with it—of the dirty coal energy industry.”

Well, not really. There are dozens of cities considering making the break, including Minneapolis, the city that Xcel is based in.

But the most brilliant bit of propaganda magic is found in the pitch at the end of the clip.

“The only way David beats Goliath this time is with your help. Because the only way to counter money is with PEOPLE. … They might have the war chest, but we have the ARMY. And we are here to recruit YOU. Right now, more than ever, we need YOU. Your financial support will help restore our community’s voice this election.” 

Yes, we need YOU … to give us YOUR money.

Normally, I’d advise against stretching the facts to make them fit your fattened claims. But this was done so creatively and has been so successful that, as the Anchorman once said, “I’m not even mad. That’s amazing.”

Up next: Xcel’s Spreadsheet of Screw-ups

Dancing with the Bards

"I know what you're
thinking and I swear
my hand just slipped."

The art of storytelling is often presented as a series of steps one must take to get from the beginning of a tale to the end, as if performing the Hesitation Waltz.

“Open, two, three … plot, two, three … turn, two, three … twist, two, three …”

Master the steps and you’ve mastered storytelling. Except you haven’t.

Great storytelling, like great dancing, is an art that requires an almost spiritual connection with your partner, the audience. You can master the moves, but unless you can interpret and adjust to the subtle—sometimes nearly imperceptible—reactions of your audience to your story, you’re not a storyteller.

You’re an iPod.

Naturally empathetic people, or empaths, are particularly good at reading their audience, as if they were born with exquisitely tuned radar. On the other end of the spectrum are sociopaths, whose radars were never properly installed. Most people fall somewhere in between.

If you’re not a naturally empathetic person, there are steps to take to better read your audience. Transformation Academy founder Rita Rocker wrote a terrific synopsis of the warning signs that you’re losing your audience.

But if you are a naturally empathetic person, or if you want to see what it feels like to be one, check out this video about new technology that lets anyone “find the visible in the invisible.”

New software technology developed by researchers at MIT can detect the almost imperceptible changes in the color and movement in the pixels of videos of people, allowing us to see activity we couldn’t otherwise see—like blood pulsating in a newborn baby’s head.

This “big world of small motions,” as they describe it, throws off information that can be extremely helpful to doctors, much the same way audiences throw of information that is vital to storytellers.

It can be a bit much, as you can imagine, picking up subtle physical cues that tell you much more about someone's genuine state of mind than they want you to know. It can be exhausting, really. But it is an invaluable trait that has helped--and created--brilliant storytellers for generations.

A big shout out to Serbia!

Welcome to the show. Glad you could make it.

There's beer in the fridge and some pretzels in the cupboard. And we ran out of M&M's but we may have some maraschino cherries in the small fridge under the bar. 

Hey, we've got some Croats coming by later to watch Game of Thrones, so I'm gonna have to ask all of you to abide by our strict gun policy. Well, that's about it. Make yourself at home and feel free to bring your friends next time.

“Preditors” are no longer alien

We don't hang out much since
you got that gig at the
Verizon Center.

There’s a preditor in the Verizon Center in Washington, DC.

Several of them, actually. And if you use video to tell your story, you may want to get a preditor for your organization, too.

“Preditor” is the job title for people who both produce and edit video, one of a new generation of combined jobs blossoming across America as organizations try to capitalize on digital opportunities.

Ted Leonsis—who owns Verizon Center, the NBA Wizards, the NHL Capitals—is a wizard at capitalizing on opportunities. He is currently retooling the “decades-old business model” of his media and sports empire to bring it up to 21^st century code.

According to The Washington Post, Leonsis’ company “is going aggressively digital, asking employees to broaden their skill sets, collaborate more, produce extra content and find innovative ways to deliver it.” One sentence, five lessons.

Go aggressively digital: Your organization’s online presence isn’t “another tool in our communications toolbox.” It’s the whole job site. As Ted says: “We believe in the three-screen future. There’s the computer. There’s the phone, and then there’s television.” You’ve got to get online if you want to get your story on those screens.

Ask employees to broaden their skill sets:  That content assembly line that allowed every department to add its own tweak to each press release? Scrap it. Online conversations happen in real time. Your team needs to have the skills—and the authority—to communicate in real time for your story to be part of the story.

Collaborate more: The online culture is collaborative. Want your story to be retold by communities you care about? Start by engaging in the conversation. If you bust into a group of like-minded folk having a friendly conversation and you start handing out press releases, you will get talked about. But you won’t like what you hear.

Produce extra content: To paraphrase Brad Pitt, “The Internet ain’t in the press-release posting business. It’s in the content-sharing business. And, cousin, business is a-BOOMin.” Content is the currency of the Internet. But your content must be current—and that takes constant upkeep. So as your employees are broadening their skill sets, encourage the more conversant of them to engage in online conversations on behalf of the organization. (Don’t forget to give them the authority to keep those conversations alive without running everything by legal.)

Find innovative ways to deliver content: Rod McKuen had it right: “The medium is the message.” But online media is much more than blogs, tweets, and likes. One of the best ways to deliver content is by engaging in other people’s conversations. See a blog post you like that is relevant to your issue? Leave a comment. Come across a podcast that offers a unique take on a topic you care about? Share it on Facebook. Before long, others will return the favor and you’ll be part of the conversation.

It’s a brave new world out there. If you want your story heard, you must engage in the conversation.

You kiss your mother with that mouth, Chuck Wendig?

And the initials don't stand
for "Fine. Urself?"

I drop the F-bomb a fair amount. But I’d get the “Also Participated” ribbon if I ever went head-to-head with Chuck Wendig in a swear-a-thon.  He sounds like me trying to build an Ikea sofa after a couple of beers.

Which is why I love his work, especially “25 things you should know about storytelling.” You will, too.

Follow him @ChuckWendig.