One of the few legit reasons to scream like a girl

I made a fresh pot of coffee, poured myself a Starbux-sized mug and tried to balance it on a newspaper as I walked to the table. The paper folded and I spilled the coffee all over me. After performing the hot-liquid version of stop-drop-and-roll (which looked a lot like me jumping and screaming as I tried to yank my t-shirt off), I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen. Then I looked at the headline of the offending paper. Kinda wish I had been carrying a Penthouse or something.